'I don't even like them': How much should you give to office gift collections?

ByAlex Taylor BBC News reporter, Reporting fromLondon.

Key points

• Today, Felicity usually gives between £5 and £10 but goes up to £20 for a close work friend or long-time colleague.
• Working at a car garage aged 17, she was suddenly thrust an envelope to offer capital for a mechanic who was retiring.
• In a leadership position managing over 200 individuals, numerous of them contractors, office collections were common as staff churn was frequent.
• Former music journalist Layla is similar, only contributing if she "really likes" the person.
• Thomas Roubert, professor of organisational psychology and leadership at Oxford University, notes.

Love them, hate them or barely know them, it's a colleague's birthday, wedding or leaving do and there's a collection to mark the occasion.

So how much should you offer? And if you're the person organising the collection, how do you chase without feeling like a loan shark or exposing unspoken team dynamics? 'It depends if I like you'.

In practice, the politics of the office whip-round are so sensitive that everyone the BBC spoke to asked us not to employ their real name.

For those on a tight budget, the rule is simple: only offer to colleagues you've worked with directly.

Lucy, a senior therapist in healthcare, notes: "If we haven't worked together, my purse is staying shut."

There's a blunter unspoken truth beneath the surface. "It also depends on if I like you, " she admits.

"One colleague's whole demeanor annoyed me, so when she moved roles, I wanted to celebrate with my own drink – not give her money." What information do we collect from this quiz?

Yet she often avoids office collections on principle, not personality, disliking how impersonal they can feel.

"I'd rather purchase my own gift for someone I care concerning. I hate having to be forced to contribute to a joint collection out of some rubbish sense of obligation, " she notes. How much to offer?

In practice, the decision to offer additionally comes with a question of how much.

Barker has a decade's worth of experience organising and contributing to various collections at a sizeable multi-national business, where he works in research and production.

He notes it's normally the same half a dozen residents that contribute generously, irrespective of the person or the occasion.

Meanwhile, the average a worker offered to a collection was £11.65 in the first three months of the year, according to analysis of over 5, 000 contributions by website GiftRound.

Junior workers can often face the biggest dilemma. Felicity, now mid-career, remembers one horror story from her first job as a teenager.

Working at a car garage aged 17, she was suddenly thrust an envelope to offer capital for a mechanic who was retiring. The team was small and tight-knit, so everyone was projected to contribute.

Not only did I not really know anyone at that stage, but I additionally had no capital to offer – I was still living at home and being paid hardly anything.

"As it was after lunch, I'd applied my notes. In a panic I threw in all the spare change I had left, basically a load of coppers."

She notes: "I thought I'd secured away with it until the person collecting shouted 'who on earth put in all this change'. Everyone laughed and I couldn't ever admit it was me."

Barker notes it tends to be rank-and-file workers who contribute most often.

"Surprisingly – to me – they're not some of the best paid people in the department, " he explains. "Often those in senior positions don't give".

Those on major wages not paying their way may seem stingy. As former senior civil service veteran Darren explains, but the reality from the top can look particularly different.

In a leadership position managing over 200 individuals, numerous of them contractors, office collections were common as staff churn was frequent. Darren discovered the implicit expectation to provide as director became overwhelming.

"Eventually I found I just couldn't keep up and would be spending hundreds, often on people I didn't know at all, " he notes.

As a middle ground, he decided to sign cards and only offer capital if he'd had direct contact. This halted him feeling disingenuous and giving resentfully.

But the card-not-cash compromise has become harder as collections move online, with amounts often shown alongside the names of individuals by default.

Of course, these days, alongside emails, there's always the ever-present work WhatsApp group.

Healthcare worker Jeffrey notes he's still reeling from seeing staff donations toward the family of a deceased patient being openly listed in the agency chat, individual donation amounts included. Whether to chase colleagues.

Should you chase contributions – and note who's given and who has not?

"I send one email to those who haven't paid, making clear that those who have contributed are not included in the email. You'd be surprised how rapidly residents reply, " she notes.

She then gets a more junior colleague to send another, final, chaser on her behalf.

"And yes, I keep a list on paper, too. I don't forget, " she adds. Barker doesn't agree with this stance.

"I don't like to nag, " he notes. Instead he prefers a single reminder to all that preserves team unity. Pssst. Try these expert tips.

Prioritise direct colleagues and close relationships: It's generally socially acceptable to limit giving toward wider team members.

Do not chase individuals individually: And do not chase them collectively more than once. Some may be financially struggling.

Include a card as an alternative: It costs the contributor nothing and feels like a souvenir for the recipient.

For context, the gift should be symbolic: Choose a gift for its individual significance rather than monetary value.

For now, ' I don' t even like them' : How much should you give to office remains the part of the story worth watching, and further updates are likely as more details are confirmed.