Long-distance breastfeeding? How today’s moms are making it work.

Long-distance breastfeeding? How today's moms are making it work.

Key points

• Now, Artis is attending dentistry school in Nashville while her kids and partner remain in Virginia Beach, 700 miles away.
• Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is backed by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners.
• Kelsey Pomeroy, 35, had been working in her dream job teaching high school English for six years when she had her first baby.
• Miya Walker, mother of a 3-year-old in Georgia, notes child care costs and mandatory returns to the office mean she has become a stay-at-home parent.
• This mom pumps between classes, then ships her breastmilk 700 miles to her baby.

Long-distance breastfeeding? How today's moms are making it work. Madeline Mitchell USA TODAY.

As child care costs soar and offices re-open, women pay the cost.

She was making $39, 000 a year, she remarked, and when she returned from an unpaid 12-week maternity leave, human resources informed her that those weeks away wouldn't count toward her retirement pension. So as to retire on time, she'd have to either pay the state the difference or work an extra year. She realized, then and there, that her career and motherhood couldn't coexist easily.

Pomeroy left her dream job in 2019. In those early months being at home alone with her baby, she remarked, she missed working and talking to residents each day. So, she picked up her phone and began making videos on TikTok.

Within a couple of years, she'd created a new career for herself online – a job with flexibility, posting for a after of 1.3 million users throughout platforms. Her income now surpasses her husband's salary.

"I remember the first time that I earned my entire year's teacher's salary in a month, " she remarked.

Pomeroy isn't alone. There are thousands of mothers like her. This person are getting creative so as to earn an income and pursue their careers while parenting.

"You really can't have it all, but you can live a full life, " Emily Riley, a researcher and one of the few women in the top 1% of income earners in the United States, previously informed USA TODAY. In her research of women in the top 1%, she remarked she heard a lot concerning "mom guilt."

"I think we are told a story that work and motherhood are in competition, " remarked Anne Welsh, a licensed psychologist and executive coach. "And I actually think the reality is that there's a lot of ways to put your children first. That taking care of you and feeling fulfilled and advocating for your needs actually makes you a better parent since you show up more present and engaged, and you're able to enjoy your motherhood more."

In her own life, and in her work, she's discovered that women tend to become more ambitious when they become mothers, with a sharper, narrower focus on what matters. "Motherhood can really shape our ambition, " Welsh remarked. The "mommy wars" that continue today, pitting women against each other since of their choices, leave everyone feeling judged, she stated.

"If there was one right way to parent, we wouldn't have 50 million books on the topic, " she remarked.

Women "can have a lot" these days since of how much more residents are talking regarding the challenges that come with balancing kids and careers, remarked Eve Rodsky, author of "Fair Play, " a guide for couples on how to divide domestic tasks. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy."

While not everyone is posting videos of themselves crying online over a Pirate's Booty snack at Target – a video that secured Pomeroy a brand accord with the snack brand – moms nationwide are finding the balance that works for them when it comes to career, identity and motherhood. Here are some of their stories.

Jadia Artis, 30, always wanted to be a dentist. But the COVID-19 pandemic put dentistry school on hold, and in the meantime she had her first baby in 2021. When she reapplied to dentistry programs a few years afterwards, she was pregnant again.

"The first time I was pregnant, I said I wanted to be intentional about showing up as a mother, " she remarked, adding that her firstborn was in critical condition when he was born and was transferred to the NICU. "This time, I didn't want many years to go by, and my dream to get further and further."

Now, Artis is attending dentistry school in Nashville while her kids and partner remain in Virginia Beach, 700 miles away. Her youngest was 9 months old when she began her program in June. Artis pumps in her car before class, and in her school's nursing room between classes. She keeps her milk in a portable cooler during the day, then stores it in bags in her freezer before shipping the milk home in packages with dry ice.

"There are people that definitely are like, 'I can't believe that you're not with your kids, '" Artis informed USA TODAY. "If you don't have the guilt, then you obtain shame for certain decisions. But what I will say is there is no linear path to motherhood."

Pumping between her classes and FaceTiming into her oldest son's back-to-school events during study breaks, Artis likes to believe that her children will look back at this time and be proud of their mom for after her dreams. And while she knows her choice "may seem odd to some, " she's confident that it is the best option for her family.

"It's not just about my goals anymore, " she remarked. "Becoming a dentist is a family goal, to make a better family life for us all."

She lost her job, then built her own firm to assist other working moms.

Beth Wanner, 39, remarked she "put off" having kids as she was "always nervous about what starting my family was going to mean for my career."

Working as a tech marketing executive, her job – which she loved – was demanding and fast-paced, and she wasn't sure how she'd balance it with motherhood. But after facing the reality that no time was going to feel like the "right time" to have a baby, she and her husband began their fertility journey. She remarked she tried to overperform at work, answering messages from fertility treatment procedure tables so that she wouldn't fall behind.

Coincidentally, two days after she discovered out she was pregnant, she was laid off. She obtained a new job swiftly, but noted that once her new employer identified out she was pregnant, she never felt secure there. She remarked they produced her feel that her impending maternity leave was an overwhelming burden on the firm, and fired her in July 2023 after she informed them that her doctor recommended an earlier caesarean section than originally planned. She's still in the midst of a legal battle over her termination.

Wanner offered birth a month after she was fired. Instead of basking in the glow of her new motherhood, she felt – as the breadwinner of her family – immediate pressure to find a new position.

"I needed to be out networking, but I really didn't want to because I didn't know how to introduce myself, " she remarked. She wasn't on maternity leave, but she wasn't taking an intentional career break, either.

So she founded Mother Cover, a passion project that now consists of more than 250 "leave partners" who can fill interim positions when professionals have to take time away for care needs.

Like Welsh, Wanner remarked she believes women's ambition may shift when they become mothers, "but I don't think it lessens." Where she had endless time to put toward work before, she stated, now she's much more intentional regarding how she uses her time and energy so she can still cherish moments with her daughter.

"Parents can do a hell of a lot more in that limited time than most, because they have a different type of ambition and motivation now, " she remarked.

Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is backed by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach Madeline at [email protected] and @maddiemitch_ on X. Share your feedback to support improve our site!

Taken together, the developments around long-distance breastfeeding? How today's moms are making it work point to a situation that is still moving, and the coming days should bring more clarity.