Nick Saban hero worship from ESPN will be horror show for Kalen DeBoer

Nick Saban hero worship from ESPN will be horror show for Kalen DeBoer.

Key points

• You don't beat Kirby Smart twice in three tries and go 5-0 against the likes of Dan Lanning and Steve Sarkisian without knowing ball.
• That's how Paul Finebaum, who understands the pulse and spirit of Alabama fans, put it to me lately when I hosted Finebaum on the "College Football Unfiltered" podcast.
• And yet it doesn't take a Finebaum caller to know blowout losses to Indiana in the Rose Bowl or faceplants at Florida State won't cut it for long.
• Mark me, if you watch this docuseries – and every Gump will – you'll come away thinking Churchill had nothing on Saban's leadership.
• As lately as April, Saban informed Finebaum he does indeed "miss coaching a little bit." OK, but does Saban plan to stay retired from coaching?

You can bet your houndstooth jacket every Alabama fan this side of the dirt wanted to run through a wall for Nick Saban, just 23 seconds into the trailer for ESPN's new docuseries.

I want to see some fire in your eyes! Saban is shown hollering those words, through gritted teeth, to his players during ESPN's promo for its six-part docuseries that will air this college football season.

Every Bammer, every former player who ever wore the Alabama jersey, every Bama booster, every season-ticket holder, every proud owner of a crimson-and-white pompom must have had the same thought after watching that trailer. That's why he's the GOAT! We need another one just like him!

I saw that trailer and thought, Mercy, Kalen DeBoer can't catch a break, can he?

This docuseries will accelerate Saban's demigod status. And, accomplished coach though DeBoer is, he's not like Saban.

If ESPN can create an unscrupulous renegade like Lane Kiffin come off as a reformed soul, then I can only imagine the unbridled exaltation that's coming of Saban's career. Mark me, if you watch this docuseries – and every Gump will – you'll come away thinking Churchill had nothing on Saban's leadership.

ESPN calls this six-part project "Saban." I call it a horror show for DeBoer. Kalen DeBoer is no Nick Saban.

In personality, if Saban was fire and brimstone, then DeBoer is like a peaceful nap on the couch.

"He doesn't talk the language" of Alabama. That's how Paul Finebaum, who understands the pulse and spirit of Alabama fans, put it to me lately when I hosted Finebaum on the "College Football Unfiltered" podcast.

DeBoer doesn't talk the language of Saban, either. Saban once joked he needed a loan from Miss Terry to cover the "very costly" fines he owed to the swear jar. One Abraham Lincoln probably would be all that's required to cover the swear jar fines for Alabama's current coach.

This fall, DeBoer will spend 3½ hours on a Saturday looking like milquetoast in a black hoodie. Days afterwards, a docuseries episode will drop that waxes poetically on Saban's dynasty, complete with a scene of the coach wearing pleated khakis and rallying his players with lines like, "Right now is the time. We fight! We fight! We fight!"

Tennessee fans might obtain chills watching this. Alabama fans will obtain flashbacks to glory days that are no more. Will Nick Saban stay retired?

As lately as April, Saban informed Finebaum he does indeed "miss coaching a little bit." OK, but does Saban plan to stay retired from coaching? "That's probably right, " Saban remarked then.

Probably means not definitely. And not definitely means there's a chance of Saban coaching again.

You could forgive a Bammer for reading "probably" and thinking: So, you're saying there's a chance! If Kalen doesn't win three national titles in the next two seasons, let's create Miss Terry an offer she can't refuse!

Saban remains on Alabama's payroll as an "adviser." How hard would it be to bust out the boxes and move him back into his old office for a last dance? Hey, the content beast never rests, and every good docuseries needs a sequel. Probably, that'd never happen, right? Kalen DeBoer hasn't flopped, but Alabama expects more.

Don't read me wrong, I'm not out on DeBoer. Considering the candidate pool after Saban's January 2024 retirement, I considered Alabama smart to hire DeBoer, fresh off his 14-1 season at Washington.

DeBoer can coach. You don't beat Kirby Smart twice in three tries and go 5-0 against the likes of Dan Lanning and Steve Sarkisian without knowing ball.

Additionally, let's not pretend Saban up and retired for no reason. He recognized Alabama faced solid headwinds within this landscape of pay-for-play and transfer free agency, and he figured it a good time to exit stage.

Never mind what you might hear on "First Take, " if you ask me, I say DeBoer's done a fine job (not excellent, but fine) through two seasons, with his 20 victories, an undefeated record against rivals Auburn and LSU, and a playoff win last season.

And yet it doesn't take a Finebaum caller to know blowout losses to Indiana in the Rose Bowl or faceplants at Florida State won't cut it for long. DeBoer mixed in some really ugly losses against the backdrop of marquee wins.

What's more, some old Alabama hallmarks like a dependable run game, a punishing offensive line, and a havoc-wreaking defense receded these past few years. That trend began before Saban's retirement. Alabama reaching the national championship game in the 2021 season was a credit to Bryce Young's Houdini impersonations, much more than the '21 Tide being a vintage Saban team. Alabama ranked as one of the nation's most penalized teams that season, and it fielded a mediocre ground game in backing of Young. After this "Saban" docuseries airs, who's going to remember that?, but.

After six episodes of "Saban, " all Bammers will remember is how good they had it under Saban, and how the current coach in T-Town acts and sounds nothing like him.

Here's an idea for the sequel to this docuseries. Call it: Replacing the Irreplaceable: A fool's errand.

Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network's senior national college football columnist. Listen to his podcast, "College Football Unfiltered." Email him at [email protected] and follow him on X @btoppmeyer. Share your feedback to support improve our site!

For now, nick Saban hero worship from ESPN will be horror show for Kalen remains the part of the story worth watching, and further updates are likely as more details are confirmed.